I Hate So Many Things

 
Lately I've been feeling that it is not a joy to be with you.  We cannot talk about anything under the sun and I cannot seem to be talkative around you.

So maybe you get your fill of talk or conversation when in the company of other people, your riders, or your friends.  I dunno, I just cannot be myself with you.  Maybe for fear of you getting upsent or agit when I open my mouth and blurt out anything I can think of.  I cannot be random with you and I hate it, really.

Most of the time too, when I know you just don't feel like talking about a certain topic, you shut me off and tell me that we will just talk about it the folowing day or morning.  But really, no evening topic that was ever discussed was also ever re-discussed in the morning or the following day after.

I hate you for that.

I hate that I cannot open my mouth to anything when with you.  I hate so many things and I am just getting tired of our relationship.  I hate that I can just see you onscreen, and listen in incognito while you drive and are at work.

I hate so many things and I wish I had a more physical boyfriend who can truly and fully stay with me and hug me for real.

I hate this life.  I hate this relationship.

I envy all those who can spend their day with you.  I hate it that you seem not to care abot how I feel too, when I just want to be with you, and you remain unfeeling and so distant.