It's ironic that you told your female rider about this male rider you had the other day about how he was unkind and spoke in an unkindly manner to his pregnant wife or girlfriend while inside your car.
Why do I find it ironic? Because you were so "proud" in telling this woman rider of yours that it was definitely not a nice way to treat a significant someone, or simply not a good way to be like that to another person.
And it DID NOT even occur to YOU that you are far worse in treating me or speaking to me than that man rider was to his woman. It was never an important thought to you that the way you treat me is so differently expressed and manifested than how you treat other people -- your riders, most especially, whom you treat with the sweetest, kindest, and gentlest respect, manner, and decorum, and they are in fact, a million times more fortunate than myself being treated by you in so many harsh angles.
As what this article says:
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What does unkindly mean?
Unkind treatment is made up of put downs, lack of excitement, undermining, or belittling. In covert ways you will see the abuser laughing things off, making you doubt yourself, confusing you, not giving you straight answers, turning things against you, then being overly nice, requiring behaviors that you can never get right, or giving to you that comes with increased requirements. The overt versions include outright anger, name calling,
criticism, ridicule, accusations, demands that cannot be met. The battlegrounds where these vicious psychological manipulations take place are in choice or decision making,
systematic set-ups (encouraging you, followed by criticizing or ridiculing you), poor sportsmanship, upmanship, showing off (lavish spending), followed by punishment and denial of your rightful challenge or criticism, threats or spoiling, giving then accusing you of selfishness. The list is seemingly endless. But the basic accusation in any unkindness is: You are wrong
(The Mend Project, 2018, "MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER DOES NOT TREAT ME KINDLY", 2018, Sept. 23, 2020)
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So should I allow myself to be treated as such continuously, or every now and then, when you feel like so?
Earlier, you said sorry to me, and added that you have a problem I should help you with. I asked what it was, and you said it was your temperament and that you are aware that you hurt the perople you love the most.
I replied that acknowledging your problem is at least half of it solved already. But really, saying that to you did not really make me feel that I am assured of that statement from myself.
I am still on the losing end.
Unkind treatment is made up of put downs, lack of excitement, undermining, or belittling. In covert ways you will see the abuser laughing things off, making you doubt yourself, confusing you, not giving you straight answers, turning things against you, then being overly nice, requiring behaviors that you can never get right, or giving to you that comes with increased requirements. The overt versions include outright anger, name calling,
criticism, ridicule, accusations, demands that cannot be met. The battlegrounds where these vicious psychological manipulations take place are in choice or decision making,
systematic set-ups (encouraging you, followed by criticizing or ridiculing you), poor sportsmanship, upmanship, showing off (lavish spending), followed by punishment and denial of your rightful challenge or criticism, threats or spoiling, giving then accusing you of selfishness. The list is seemingly endless. But the basic accusation in any unkindness is: You are wrong
(The Mend Project, 2018, "MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER DOES NOT TREAT ME KINDLY", 2018, Sept. 23, 2020)
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So should I allow myself to be treated as such continuously, or every now and then, when you feel like so?
Earlier, you said sorry to me, and added that you have a problem I should help you with. I asked what it was, and you said it was your temperament and that you are aware that you hurt the perople you love the most.
I replied that acknowledging your problem is at least half of it solved already. But really, saying that to you did not really make me feel that I am assured of that statement from myself.
I am still on the losing end.
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