Alone

I wait for him to finish with work, spend time with his friends, do whatever he wants to do, and then at the end of the day, he will shut me out by telling me we should go to sleep.

I dread to have this day pass by my life again. I don't know what is in store for me... Why am I such a weakling in my relationship with him?

I have to keep quiet or everything will be messed up with him blowing hot, and as for me, I will retreat, cry and cower in one corner just like I always do.

I feel so alone. He is always busy, and I know that work will always come first before anything or anyone else.  Or maybe it's just me, and he has never found anybody yet worth his undivided time.

Oh, but I am wrong.  His second wife means the world to him.  She is the only person in his life who did not make him angry, or upset.  To him, she is perfect, unflawed, and nothing negative to describe.

I am sad and in despair. I know how unimportant I am to him, and I know all too well that if I share my feelings with him, it will end up ugly once more.

So where should I go? Where should I stay?  I don't feel secure. I don't feel treasured. I stand along the sidelines, and I have to endure the pain every day.  

Alone.